Have you grown frustrated with your previous attempts to solve your problems?
Couples-Alchemy is the fruit of nearly forty years of professional practice, and a thirty-four year personal relationship with my husband. It’s a powerful way of working which harnesses the natural rhythms of autonomy and connection to promote relationships that build both stronger, more loving individuals and a more rewarding and enduring connection.
Couples Alchemy is not like other approaches to couples work which emphasize “communication problems” or prescribe approaches to intimacy like validating your partner, even if it feels phony. Instead, this approach helps you hold onto yourself even in difficult moments, and be strong enough to allow your partner to get close enough to really matter. Paradoxically, genuine intimacy requires being able to stand in your own truth and master your defensiveness.
As David Schnarch, author of Passionate Marriage says, emotionally committed relationships are “people-growing machines” which are driven forward by the inevitable arising of boredom, conflict, lack of passion and other common problems like issues with money, in-laws, work and children. The occurrence of these problems is not a sign that your relationship isn’t working or that you’ve chosen the wrong partner. Indeed, they are signs that the people-growing machine is doing just what it’s supposed to do - compel you to face the weak spots in your sense of self and make you capable of profound desire, renewed commitment and real love.
Couples Alchemy is a non-pathologizing, psycho-educational approach which works to heal the wounds of the past in the present. I work with what’s best in you and your partner, and speak to your strengths. Over and over I’ve seen couples on the brink of divorce find the relationship they’ve always wanted but never had, or had only for the first few weeks or months of romance. If you’re afraid your relationship might be sunk, or that you’re doomed to a life together without passion or intimacy, Couples Alchemy may be for you.